Jokes

Anyone got any good jokes?

Here's a few:

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One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

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There are 3 basic types of people in the world:

1. Those who can count.

2. Those who can't.

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The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "what is 1 and 1?"
"Eleven," she replied.

The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but she's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?"

"Today and tomorrow."

He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.

"Now, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

The blonde looked a little surprised herself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."

"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"

So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty parlor, where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. The blonde was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"


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A blond was rollerblading with her headphones on. She stopped in the hair salon and asked for a hair cut. She told the hair stylist not to take off the headphones.

The stylist replied "no" so the blond left. She went to a different hair salon and said the same thing. the stylist replied "ok".

After a while, the blond fell asleep in the chair. The stylist took off the headphones and the blonde died on the spot. Very confused at what happened, the stylist put on the headphones - they were saying, "breath in, breath out"

LOL at the blond jokes.

Here's a good joke.

I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!

There was only one thing bothering me, indeed, and that was my girlfriend's friend. She was a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and sexy, and who sometimes flirted with me, which made me feel uncomfortable.

One day, she invited me to come over to discuss something about the wedding. So I went. She was alone, and when I arrived, she whispered to me that soon I would be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't suppress. So before I got married and committed my life to her best friend, she wanted to make love to me just once.

What could I say? I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. So, she said, I'll go to the bedroom, and if you are up for it, just come and get me.

In great anticipation I just watched her delicious body as she moved slowly up the stairs.

I stood there for a moment, and then turned around and went to the front door. I opened it, and stepped out of the house.

To my surprise, my girlfriend was standing outside. And with tears in her eyes, she hugged me and said, "I am so in love with you! You have passed my little test. I couldn't ask for a better man to marry."

MORAL OF THE STORY:







ALWAYS KEEP YOUR CONDOMS IN THE CAR

hahahahahahaaaaaaa they were funny

i dont know if its appropriate to post the insulting jokes I know.

Silent_D wrote:

i dont know if its appropriate to post the insulting jokes I know.

go ahead

nooooo. some of dem r raaaaaaaaaaaaaacist trust me
(am not racist lol) but this may get out of hand
if Panzerman and AlgerianGooner dont mind, il say some.
But it may give WDW a ad image (Thats how bad they r)